


And We Would Have Gotten Away With It Too, If It Weren't For That Meddling Lois Lane!

by AlmondRose



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Animal Transformation, Dragons, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, POV Outsider, oh welll, this is probably rly dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-09 22:17:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6925567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlmondRose/pseuds/AlmondRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clark is missing. Lois is concerned. She tracks him down. </p><p>She was expecting blood, illness, Kryptonite even, but not this. She was not expecting the dragons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And We Would Have Gotten Away With It Too, If It Weren't For That Meddling Lois Lane!

**Author's Note:**

> gosh, I wrote this ages ago. I figured I'd better post it, so here ya go.
> 
> and I read a thing that was similar-y, but I don't remember what it was called, otherwise I would credit it. :/

Lois Lane knew two things about Clark Kent that no one else knew. Well, no one at the  _ Daily Planet,  _ anyway. The first thing was that Clark Kent was Superman, and the other thing--the juicer thing--was that he was dating Bruce Wayne. Nobody knew about his relationship because Bruce Wayne owned the  _ Daily Planet _ , so it was pretty unprofessional, and because Bruce Wayne was a billionaire, and Clark didn’t want paparazzi. Lois scoffed at that because honestly, he was Superman. He got paparazzi regardless of who he was dating. Speaking of dating, Lois wasn’t sure if Bruce knew about Clark’s other identity. Every time she asked, Clark looked away and changed the subject. Lois didn’t really care at this point, she just wanted to find out what was going on. Because Clark had taken off to “visit his parents”--which he had later told Lois was a lie, and he was off doing Justice Leauge stuff--and Bruce Wayne had gone on a vacation the same week. And Bruce was supposed to be gone for like two weeks. Clark had told her a month, tops. And it had been three months, and both parties were missing. Lois was worried and the reporter in her was fired up and ready to get to the bottom of this mystery. 

So she drove up to Wayne manor and pounded on the door. After the butler--Alfred, he’d said his name was--had reluctantly let her in, Lois had gone straight in and stopped. She was expecting blood, illness, Kryptonite even, but not this. Clark had been turned into a dragon, along with Bruce and Damian Wayne (who both had black scales) and a bunch of other people. Clark introduced his cousins, Connor and Kara (who’s dragon scales were the same shade of blue as Clark’s--a shade of blue Lois associated with Superman) Bruce’s other kids--Dick Grayson (who was a light blue like water or that one hero’s stripes--Nightwing, Lois thought), Timothy Drake (who was green scaled) and Jason Todd (who Lois had thought was dead but maybe she’d misread something somewhere, since those blood red scales and wicked teeth were very alive), and two girls--Barbara Gordon (who was red, but a different red than Jason) and Stephanie Brown (who was an eggplant purple that reminded Lois of Batgirl). 

Lois had come here ready to chew Clark out, but now she was faced with ten dragons who were supposed to be people. And only Clark could talk. Lois suspected Kara and Conner could, as well. It didn’t take a genius to know that Superman’s cousins had to be Supergirl and Superboy. 

“How did this happen?” she asked in disbelief. Clark shrugged his dragon shoulders. 

“Magic,” he said simply and Lois frowned at him. That wasn’t an answer. Clark turned to the other dragons and growled something at them. They dispersed, Damian riding on Steph’s back and Dick guiding Barbara out of the room (her hind legs didn’t work) and Conner and Tim leaving together and Kara left and Jason jumped out a window while Bruce sat down and wrapped his tail around his legs like a cat. Clark sighed and said something to his significant other and Bruce growled back a response. Clark and Bruce had a quick conversation before Bruce huffed and left, his wings swirling behind him like a black cape. The sight reminded Lois of Batman, and she stifled a giggle. 

“So what happened, really?” she asked. 

“There was some kind of magic user in Timbuktu,” Clark said. “I got hit.”

“Okay, so I get that Kara and Conner were with you,” Lois said. “But why did Bruce get hit? He’s not a….” She trailed off as something occurred to her. Bruce had reminded her of Batman. She thought about the possibilities, just to see if it worked. If Bruce was Batman, then Damian could be Robin, and Dick’s scales reminded her of Nightwing, and Tim could be...another Robin, like Red Robin, which would make Jason a Robin, the one who’d died, and Steph could be the purple Batgirl, while Barbara could be the one with red hair...Lois interrupted herself to wonder what happened to her. But there was another Bat, right? Black Bat? Cassandra Cain was out of the country...it all fit!

“Lois?” Clark asked and Lois shook herself out of her thoughts. 

“Why were all the Bat people with you in Timbuktu?” she asked and Clark blinked. Kara stuck her head in the room and said, “Cass is in Hong Kong right now, so not all of them were there!” 

“How did you figure it out?” Clark asked. 

“Please, I’m a reporter,” Lois said. “It was easy.”

“Bruce looked like a bat, didn’t he,” Clark said. It wasn’t a question. Lois nodded sheepishly. Lois heard a dragon noise and then an answering growl that Lois recognized as Bruce’s. She looked over at Clark, who was smiling a dragon smile. “They’re eavesdropping,” Clark provided.

“I would be too,” Lois said. 

“It’s your job to eavesdrop,” Clark reminded her. 

“Oh yeah.” Suddenly inspiration struck her as she realized something. “Speaking of, I just got a great story! I’ve gotta get back to the  _ Planet!”  _ She dashed towards the door. “I’ll come check on you, okay?” she said as an afterthought. “Call me if you get fixed!” She waved and left, slamming the door behind her. Clark looked over at Bruce, who had come up behind him. 

_ “What do you think that was all about?”  _ Clark asked him. Bruce shrugged. 

_ “She’d better not reveal that the Waynes became dragons,”  _ he growled. 

_ “She wouldn’t,” _ Clark said, but he sounded unconvinced. Three days later, Alfred walked into the family room where Clark and Bruce were and held out a newspaper. 

“There’s something here you ought to see, sirs,” he said, his eyes twinkling. He set the paper down and Clark and Bruce gathered around it, as did everyone else in the room. Clark groaned at the headline.

_ “It’s better than telling the world we’re dragons,”  _ Bruce said. The phone rang in another room, and Alfred poked his head back in. 

“It’s Mistress Diana, sirs,” he said. 

“I’ll take it,” Clark sighed, knowing he’d have to answer for the article Lois had printed. It was hard to miss, seeing as the  _ BATMAN AND SUPERMAN ARE DATING  _ article was plastered across the front page. 

**Author's Note:**

> only the Kryptonians can talk because reasons. 
> 
>  
> 
> feel free to comment!


End file.
